Wednesday, 18 October 2017

Is Social Media Affecting My Mental Health?

Social media is an issue that has sky rocketed over the past 5-10 years or so and is now such an integral part of most people's lives that it's quite sad really. I miss the old days back at secondary school when in order to arrange to hang out with someone or to just have a casual chat, you had to text or ring them - not hit them up on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. Granted back when I was 14 there were things like Bebo and MSN that kept us connected online, but they seemed so much more harmless than the social media around nowadays. Remember giving people your hearts on Bebo every day? Playing innocent games like tic-tac-toe whilst chatting with friends on MSN?  I miss that simplicity! With these new age apps at an all time high, it's scary to think what the world will become in another 10 years; will people even bother to talk to each other face to face? Or will literally everything be done via one of these social platforms? I'm hardly one to judge people who indulge in social media as I'll admit, I'm shamelessly addicted to things like Instagram and Twitter, however I am becoming increasingly more aware as the years go by just how dangerous social media can truly be and the affects it can have on your mental well being. 

Facebook has always been at the top of my list of websites that I hate. It just annoys me in so many ways. Not only is it ridiculously invasive and baits people into telling the whole world every little detail about themselves, but it also gives people you don't necessarily get along with or even know a way to judge you and comment on your life, without your permission. Before you say, yes I know it has privacy settings so you can control who sees your profile and what information actually gets displayed on google, but how easy is it to hack someone's account these days? Your information is not as safe as you may think. On any website really, not just Facebook. Whatever you put out on the internet is no longer solely yours. Whether that's information about your personal life, pictures of you and your loved ones or your private messages, it's all out there for the world to see it, should it so wish. So why are people so quick to share every single thing about themselves with total strangers? Is it the need to feel accepted? The need to be well known and loved? The need for attention? God knows! All I know is Facebook is evil. It has been the cause of so much heartbreak and drama for me, purely because I was stupid enough to allow insignificant people to have a small glimpse into my life and they then proceeded to try to bring me down. So I got rid of it. Almost 2 years down the line and I'm happier than ever. The only people that truly know about my life are the people I want too and I don't have nosey people from my past or total strangers snooping on my every move. I highly recommend it, it's liberating AF. Also, if the new Facebook Live feature that has so far broadcasted multiple people being shot/stabbed/murdered live online doesn't scare you enough, then I am baffled. It's a weird world that we live in.

Twitter isn't really much better to be honest. Although personally, I mainly use it to stalk celebrities and authors so I can stay updated with everyone I admire in one place on the internet. I do occasionally tweet about my own life, but I try to keep it simple and not too in depth when possible. At the end of the day, if people want to get to know me, then talk to me, I'm a friendly, open book! I just don't want to have to write it all over the internet for everyone to know my business. I get this sounds weird coming from someone who blogs about their life for the whole world to see, but the difference is I get to choose what I blog about and can edit/take down any content at any time and nobody cares about a small blogger who likes to rant about things she likes and her baby, it's not juicy enough to make a difference. Yes you can delete tweets and facebook statuses, but by the time you've done so, they have probably been seen by far too many people for you to get away with it so you have to be so careful what you disclose. Another thing I've recently had brought to light are these strange judgemental groups such as Mom Twitter, along with many many more I can only assume. I completely appreciate that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and can voice it however way they choose online, but to actively approach and attack innocent people for their views if they differ from yours is pathetic, cruel and frankly quite dangerous. These kind of groups dedicated for mums or any people really, should be loving and supportive and offer advice to people that need it - not viciously degrade strangers that aren't doing something the way you think it should be done. What has happened to people these days? 

Instagram is pretty much the only social media app that I use that I don't have many issues with, ironically. The new algorithm sucks, making posts rarely seen by your followers unless you post them at the right times of the day, but that's more the materialistic side of things than it mentally affecting me. I'm still crazily aware of the fact the pictures I post on my profile are now out in the world for anyone to see and potentially use without me knowing, which is a scary thought in itself, but I am clever enough to strictly control what I publish and what parts of my life I allow people to see. Ever heard of the saying 'Don't judge a person by their Instagram feed?' That could not be more accurate. Just because someone's feed looks 'perfect' doesn't necessarily mean their life is. It's that wonderful trickery of the app that keeps me on it to be honest. I can be going through the worst times in my life yet be posting about how much fun I had at a BBQ last week or a happy inspirational quote and no-one would be the wiser. I'm not saying I don't sometimes post deeper quotes or pictures when I'm feeling down or that I'm constantly faking to be happy as that's not true. Life is hard and sometimes you need to share that fact with the world so you can get the support you need from friends and family, even on social media. But it's definitely easier to feel in control on an app such as Instagram I feel. Plus the memes on there, the ability to keep up to date with your favourite celebs, authors and people with similar likes as you is awesome and it's a great way to make new friends if you put the effort in. 

All in all, I can openly admit that over the many years that I've had social media, it has made me more conscious of what people think of me and how I'm expected to act in order for people to like me, even if they don't personally know me. It's made me crave certain people's attention - their likes and favourites and retweets. It's made me jealously observe other people's lives and wish mine was more like theirs. It's aided in my shameless stalking of people from my past that I absolutely should not be even wasting time thinking about, let alone checking their profiles. And many other things that have mentally scarred me in ways only the internet can do. These are things I'm working on every day though as I don't believe anything, especially something as insignificant as social media, should make you second guess yourself or tell you that you aren't good enough because that's bullshit. You are enough. And your mental health means SO much more than the likes, the favourites, the retweets, the followers. 


Friday, 13 October 2017

I Will Go Down With This Ship ♥

Being a new mum has given me a hell of a lot of free time that I find myself not knowing what to do to fulfil the inner nerd in me, I have been indulging in books to pass the time until I can eventually go back to work. If you follow me on Instagram, you'll know I'm currently reading the ACOTAR series and the incredible relationship development between Feyre & Rhysand has inspired me to write a post on my favourite ships from books, movies and tv shows. So without further ado, in no particular order, here are some ships that I will go down with, forever ❤❤❤

Lagertha & Ragnar • Vikings
Kili & Tauriel • The Hobbit
Damon & Elena • The Vampire Diaries
Ross & Rachel • Friends
Lana & Archer • Archer
Emma & Dylan • Bates Motel
Rose & Dimitri • Vampire Academy
Feyre & Rhysand • ACOMAF 
Magnus & Alec • Shadowhunters 
Nana Osaka & Ren • NANA 
Sasuke & Sakura • Naruto
Lydia & Stiles • Teen Wolf 
Eric & Sookie • True Blood 
Crixus & Naevia • Spartacus 
Oliver & Felicity • Arrow 
Blair & Chuck • Gossip Girl
Betty & Jughead • Riverdale 
Drogo & Daenerys • Game Of Thrones
Eren & Mikasa • Attack On Titan
Yuuki & Kaname • Vampire Knight
Clary & Jace • Shadowhunters
Klaus & Caroline • The Originals
Ron & Hermione • Harry Potter
Kirito & Asuna • Sword Art Online
Edward & Winry • Fullmetal Alchemist
Hank & Karen • Californication
Cassian & Nesta • ACOWAR

I will probably forever be editing this as I remember more couples, don't judge me, I'm a shameless romantic 🙈

What are your some of your favourite ships?


Monday, 2 October 2017

Advice I'm Trying To Follow As A New Mum

I've been a mum for almost 14 weeks now and I'm not gonna lie, it's been a tough ride so far. Don't get me wrong, I adore my baby and the joy I get having him smile at me every day when he wakes up, but nothing and nobody can prepare you for the intense changes it makes to your life and self. In just a few short months I feel like I've learnt so much about myself as a person and come a long way from the girl I used to be. I was lazy, selfish and naive. I didn't appreciate a lot of things or people in my life and I made a lot of mistakes. But I can honestly say that becoming a mother to Cassius has given me a whole new purpose and opened my eyes to the person I used to be and given me the courage and enthusiasm to be better every day; not only for him but for me. 

Something I have learnt along the way so far is that you should always try to take in the advice other parents give you. Not necessarily about the way you raise your child as every child and family is different - but more so about the little things that come along with being a parent. Here are some pieces of advice I've been given by various people in my life that I'm trying to follow and I think every new mum should try too ❤

  1. Be patient. Nothing lasts forever.
    Sometimes it can feel like your life is being sucked out of you when your baby is suffering from colic day in and day out or has trouble settling down to bed in the evening or a countless of other things babies go through and it can very quickly feel like the world is crashing down around you. Don't fret, it won't last forever. Just take a moment away from the situation and breathe. This is so important to stop yourself from going nuts.
  2. Take care of yourself.
    I can't say I always manage to do this one perfectly; there are some weeks when I don't get out of my sick stained pjs and won't wash my hair or put make up on unless I have too. Unfortunately, thus is motherhood. But I'm working on it. Just a little bit of TLC a day for mumma bear can go a long way. From taking a walk without your baby, to indulging in a bubble bath and reading a book, make sure to look after you.
  3. Don't be afraid to ask for or accept help.
    Being a super mum is bloody hard work. Caring for a tiny human whilst keeping a household running and having time to yourself is near on impossible sometimes. So if you have people in your life that are willing to help, let them. Even if occassionally you have to ask a family member to take your baby so you can have an afternoon free, do it. Don't feel guilty for needing time off, you're only human and you have needs too.
  4. Don't forget about your relationship.
    This is so incredibly important, especially at the beginning when both of your attention is on this little human you've created. Some days it's difficult even finding hours in the day to sit down with your partner and enjoy a cup of tea together but it's imperative to try. I have more love for my boyfriend now than I ever thought possible but we're definitely struggling to balance being doting parents and having date nights to ourselves. It's a work in progress but we're doing our best.
  5. Take some advice with a pinch of salt.
    Everybody has a different opinion on what is the 'correct' way to raise a child. From old wives tales to the scary world of mum twitter, it can be quite scary when you're told you aren't doing something right. My opinion? Your maternal instincts will know when something is wrong with your baby. As much as googling things and asking other mums online can help, sometimes their advice may not work on your baby. Every child is different so everything is trial and error. Don't worry if what the internet says the 'norm' is, isn't what you're doing. You're still rocking it, mumma!

    These are only some bits of advice I've been given as a new mum but I find them the most important. Motherhood isn't easy, if it was, it wouldn't be worth it. No matter what though, as long as you and your baby are happy and healthy, then you're doing an amazing job, never forget that! ⭐

Do you have any advice that has helped you and you want to share? Let me know, below!

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